How to Help a Recovering Alcoholic Who Has Relapsed

Let’s face it. Relapse can be a heartbreaking experience for someone recovering from alcoholism. But it can be equally challenging for their loved ones.

If someone close to you has relapsed, it’s normal to feel a mixture of emotions. You might feel sadness. Frustration. Confusion. Fear, even. You might also feel guilty or unsure about how to help. However, your support is especially important during this time.

Sadly, relapse is part of many people’s recovery. One recent study even highlighted that as many as 75% of people will relapse from alcoholism at some point. But this does in no way mean that it’s over. It is possible to overcome a relapse, and many people do overcome it.

In this blog, we’ll help you understand how to offer compassionate and practical help to a recovering alcoholic who has relapsed.

What is a Relapse, Exactly?

A relapse of alcohol abuse is defined as when someone in recovery returns to drinking alcohol after a period of sobriety. It could be days, weeks, months or even years after achieving recovery, but the most common time a relapse will happen is within the first three months of recovery.

Recovery from alcoholism is a long journey, and it’s common for people to face setbacks along the way. If someone relapses, it’s a sign that more support and understanding is needed.

Why Does Relapse Happen?

One common reason for an alcohol relapse is negative emotions, such as pressure, stress and anxiety. When life gets tough, like losing a job, having money problems, or dealing with a problematic relationship, some people might turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. However, during the recovery process, especially in the earlier stages, even a tiny amount of pressure could be too much to handle, as the person is likely in a vulnerable state during this time.

Another reason is emotional pain. This could be from things like grief, sadness, or feeling alone. These feelings can be hard to handle, and turning back to alcohol may seem like a quick fix momentarily. But using drugs or alcohol to numb the pain doesn’t make the feelings go away – it just covers them up for a while.

Sometimes, a sudden change in life can also trigger a relapse. This could be something big, like moving to a new place, or something quite minor and unexpected, like an argument with a friend. These changes can be unsettling, and if someone isn’t prepared to deal with them without alcohol, they might slip back into old habits.

Mental health problems like depression or anxiety can also play a significant role in relapse. These conditions can make everyday life feel overwhelming, and alcohol might seem like a way to cope. But in reality, alcohol often makes these problems worse, not better.

How to Help a Recovering Alcoholic Who Has Relapsed

When you first discover that your loved one has relapsed, it’s perfectly natural to feel upset. However, it’s important to stay calm.

Blaming or shaming them will only make the situation worse, and they’re likely already feeling some level of guilt about relapsing. Instead, try to focus on the fact that they need help.

Show Compassion, Understanding and Encourage Open Communication

Approach them with the understanding that relapse is a part of their addiction recovery process and that you’re there to help them get back on track. This doesn’t mean you should ignore the relapse, but rather that you should approach it with a focus on their well-being. Acknowledge their struggle and express your desire to help them move forward.

After a relapse, it’s important to talk openly with your loved one. Encourage them to share their feelings and experiences with you. Ask them about what led to the relapse and how they’re feeling now.

Listening without judgment may feel hard. But, this can help them feel supported and less alone. By creating a safe space for them to express themselves, you’re helping them to take the first steps back towards recovery.

Support Their Return to Recovery

Knowing how to help a recovering alcoholic who has relapsed and what to do next is tough, but one of the most important things you can do is encourage your loved one to seek professional help.

This might mean returning to therapy or joining a support group. If the relapse is quite severe, it could mean entering a residential rehab and following a substance abuse treatment programme. This will provide them with the tools they need to get back on track and stay sober in the long term.

Offer Practical Support

This might include things like helping them access addiction and mental health services and support groups – and making sure they get there. Or even just going through their relapse prevention plan with them or offering to go with them to appointments.

You can also help by removing alcohol from their home or offering to help them create a plan to avoid triggers. Sometimes, small gestures like cooking or sorting out travel to and from places can make a huge difference in their day-to-day life.

Be Patient and Give It Some Time

Recovery takes time. And, most likely, so will getting back on track after a relapse. So, try to be patient with your loved one during this process.

They might feel frustrated or ashamed about the relapse, and they must know you’re not giving up on them. Understand that they might need some time to regain their confidence and re-establish their commitment to sobriety. Your patience and continued support can be a source of strength for them.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Of course, it’s important to support your loved one – but it’s also just as important to set healthy boundaries for yourself. What this means is being clear about what you can and cannot do to help.

For example, you might be willing to provide emotional support but not be able to offer financial help. Setting boundaries helps protect your well-being and ensure that your loved one understands your limits.

It’s okay to say no if you feel overwhelmed or if their behaviour becomes too challenging for you to handle alone.

Avoid Taking their Relapse Personally

When someone you love relapses, it can feel like a personal failure, especially if you’ve been closely involved in their recovery.

However, their relapse is not your fault. Addiction is a complex disease, and recovery is ultimately their responsibility. The warning signs aren’t always obvious, either. So, try to separate your feelings from their actions and focus on how you can best support them moving forward.

Practice Self-Care

Supporting someone through a relapse can take a toll on those closest. So, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.

Make sure you have your own support system in place, whether that’s friends, a family member, or even a therapist. Taking time for yourself to relax and recharge is also essential. You can’t help your loved one if you’re burnt out.

Don’t Enable Their Behaviour

Supporting your loved one doesn’t just mean enabling their drinking. Enabling can include things like making excuses for their behaviour, giving them money, or ignoring the problem.

It’s essential to offer support in a way that encourages them to take responsibility for their recovery. This can be difficult, especially if you want to protect them, but enabling their behaviour can make it harder for them to recover.

How to Help a Recovering Alcoholic Who Has Relapsed: Moving Forward

Recovery is a journey made up of a lot of small steps. So, after a relapse, it becomes even more important to celebrate even the most minor victories.

Whether it’s a day, a week, or a month of sobriety, acknowledging your loved one’s progress can be incredibly motivating. Positive reinforcement can help them stay focused on their goals and remind them that they are capable of overcoming challenges.

Encourage Ongoing Recovery Efforts

After your loved one is back on track, encourage ongoing recovery efforts. This includes even if things are going well. This might consist of continuing with their therapy sessions, attending support groups, or practising new coping strategies.

Life After a Relapse and Moving Forward

Many people relapse and still go on to achieve long-term sobriety, so try to stay hopeful. You can help your loved one believe in their ability to recover.

Rebuild Trust Gradually

Trust can be shaken after a relapse. So, rebuild it gradually and at a pace that feels right for both of you.

This might mean setting new boundaries, going through new relapse prevention planning together, or having honest conversations about their personal triggers, relapse warning signs and what you both need moving forward.

Trust is an essential part of any relationship, and rebuilding it takes time and effort from both sides.

Focus on the Future

It’s easy to get stuck in the past after a relapse, but focusing on the future is more productive. Encourage your loved one to think about their goals for the future and how they can achieve them.

Whether it’s personal goals like rebuilding relationships or practical ones like returning to a career that they once adored, focusing on the future can help them move forward with a positive mindset.

Need Support? Get In Touch Today

We hope you’ve found our advice on how to help a recovering alcoholic who has relapsed helpful. Whether it’s for yourself or a loved one, if you’re looking for support for alcohol addiction, we can help.

At Action Rehab, we provide confidential advice and connect you with local support free of charge. We can also make sure that the next steps you take are the right ones for you and your situation. Call us today on  0151 268 6992 for more information on how we can help.

Posted on Thursday, September 5th, 2024 at 3:16 pm in Addiction, Latest News.